Moar microbloggery

More Facebook wisdom for those of you who aren't my Facebook friends or followers:


(from election night)  Hahahahaha, there approximately TEN MILLION people on FoxNews.com commenting right now about how ridiculous it is that Romney is winning the popular vote but Obama has the electoral vote. IRONY LEVEL INFINITY

For some reason I always assumed that the number of dreams I had in which I was freaking out about missing a homework assignment would sort of taper off after being done with school forever.

Yesterday my hard drive died. In a moment of weakness I considered ending my vacation a day early and heading into work, but I found the strength to stay home and play the video games on my other hard drives, because that's what heroes do—they just focus and power through whatever rough situations life throws at them.

I currently have Borderlands 2 on my computer. I can't play it until Tuesday. I probably won't play it for at least a month since Mists of Pandaria opens in just days. I'm still excited. I'm that kid that just gets giddy about the Christmas tree and then only plays with the box.

I just got 27 injections of poison in my face and head, and four hours later I got ZERO lollipops at the end. I'm pretty sure this is why there are people who are upset about Obamacare.

It's probably just coincidence that the car next to me rolled its windows up right as I started singing along to Snow Patrol.

I'm making great progress on my draft for the script to I Know What You Did Last Supper, starring Jesus as Himself and Jennifer Love Hewitt as Sexy Judas.

Life tip: if it comes from an Asian grocery store and it says "hot and spicy" on the bottle, it's probably battery acid and you will regret consuming it well into the night.

Microsoft should probably have a policy where if you accidentally paste the address to a YouTube video for Call Me Maybe into source code twice in one day you have to just turn off your computer and go home.

Not too enthusiastic about the Mars mission. I've played Doom. I know where this leads... first we go to Mars, then somebody opens a portal to Hell, then you hallucinate monsters spawning behind you in hallways at work for weeks.

Pant leg touched side of urinal. DAY IS RUINED.

Probably not a good sign when you're so bored with your lunch that you forget that you were eating lunch.

First thing on my mind when I woke up this morning: some kid's yelling "Game of Thrones on Nickelodeon will be right back!" and one kid's sitting in a big orange chair, and another's in front of him about to be beheaded. A second before the sword gets to that kid's neck the camera cuts away to the Nickelodeon logo and green slime sprays on the screen.

I was just thinking of mangoes, and bam, five seconds later, I walk by a plate of mangoes. Next time I should think of a plate of $100 bills.