Thursday, May 24, 2012

The other people eating your cake/baby/date are lying to you

I've come to notice that other people using superlatives around me can make me kind of uncomfortable in ways that would not be obvious or expected at all.  Totally innocuous comments like "isn't this the most delicious cake?" or "isn't she the cutest baby ever?" or "this is the best date I've ever been on" actually kind of stress me out a little bit.  I refuse to just blindly agree with those comments because I've made a commitment to always tell the truth, and that extends to even the slightest and most irrelevant aspects of my life.  And even if perhaps it were the most delicious cake I've ever eaten in my life, there's no way that I can reflect upon all of my past cake-eating experiences and make that determination in a reasonable amount of time and be certain enough that I could say it and not feel like I was probably lying.  ("Let me get back to you on that" sounds like a douchey way of saying "your cake makes me want to throw up in my mouth.")  But I also can't really explain why I don't want to fully answer the question in a reasonable amount of time without sounding like a crazy person.  So I just end up evading the question and saying things like "Yeah, this cake/baby/date is pretty moist," but it's pretty obvious what I did there, and so now I've extended my own awkwardness to the other person.  "My goodness!  Travis obviously doesn't like this cake.  All he had to do was say 'yeah' and he couldn't even bring himself to be nice enough to say that."

Chances are, your cake/baby/date isn't the best ever.  The other people eating your cake/baby/date are lying to you.  At least I'm being honest.  I really try to avoid putting other people in a situation where they feel like they have to lie to me for any reason; I just think that most people probably don't have any problem at all with telling these sorts of minor lies so it doesn't bother them.

1 comment:

Andy Misle said...

You are hilarious. Love how you lumped those three completely different nouns together. It's really a combination I haven't seen since Austin Powers in Goldmember.