Sunday, June 26, 2011

Paulie Bleeker

I'm pretty sure that the most useful thing I've ever learned from a movie is seeing Paulie Bleeker in Juno apply antiperspirant to his thighs before heading out for a run to prevent chafing. That was pretty helpful given how much we were walking in New York. Just sayin'.

Theses I wanna nail

Pickup line for a Protestant trying to pick up a Catholic: "Baby, you should show me your church door 'cuz I got about 95 theses I wanna nail there."

Feel free to try it out and let me know how it works.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

British birds

I'm back from a week-long vacation in New York. I wrote a few posts on my phone while I was there about thoroughly unimportant crap that I thought I'd share. Here's the first:

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Things are different here in New York. Or technically, Newark. Naming your city Newark next to a city named New York seems sort of like those low-budget lookalike DVDs like Transmorphers and the non-Disney version of Aladdin, meant to ensnare clueless grandmothers buying gifts and trick them into horribly disappointing their grandchildren on their birthdays and Christmas.

Anyway, hotels are different here: humans not the only visitors. There are some pretty chatty birds that like to hang out outside our window at 2:00am at night. The only justification for birds chirping at that hour is if they're from the UK and they haven't gotten over their bird-lag. I wish them a pleasant vacation and hope that they STFU.

Friday, June 10, 2011

My not-strictly-intentional hiatus

This afternoon I was all about to break my not-strictly-intentional hiatus and post something cute and clever, but before the time I got to Blogger to write it I had completely forgotten what the post was going to be about.  So, oops.

It's not that I don't love you.  It's just that I've been kind of busy, and when that happens, not a lot of interesting things happen to me.  I imagine I'll have something to write about in a couple weeks though.  Just you watch.