Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Eating things that don't make me want to die

I've been finding gradual weight loss to be more difficult than I expected.  Over the past month or longer my weight loss has been so gradual that I've basically just maintained my weight.  Maintaining weight is hard enough and I suppose that's an accomplishment itself, but it's not really what I'm going for yet.  I'd still like to lose a bit more weight before I get to a point where I'm maintaining.

I think that a lot of the problem is that when I was on the strict diet, I began to forget what it was like to eat delicious food; food that made me happy.  I still had incredibly strong cravings for sugar and unhealthy things, but I could resist simply because I was telling myself that I don't eat those things anymore—or at least not right now.  That was challenging, but achievable.  Now, I allow myself those things occasionally, and that seems to be the problem.  Eating healthy food is even more unappealing than it was before, because I remember exactly what it's like to eat things that don't make me want to die, because I ate those things just last Friday.

So I think that as much as it pains me, in order to lose a little more weight, I'm going to have to go back on the strict diet for a little longer.  I should probably do this sooner rather than later, but I suppose I'm not in a huge hurry as long as I'm not gaining weight, which hasn't happened—I've kept things under control.  It seems that in theory, whether I maintain my weight now or lose some more first and then maintain that lower weight, the difference between the two options is just a one-time cost of pain and anguish.  The annoyance of maintaining the weight will be very similar regardless of whether I'm at 216 or in the 200s.  I can deal with one-time costs.

Now I just need to decide when I'm going to start back up again.  I do not look forward to it.

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