Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Naughty fact week: Tuesday

Today's naughty fact (yes, I changed the week, and I'm sure I will tomorrow): I didn't see an R-rated movie until I was nearly old enough to do so by myself—approximately age 16. I believe it was either Se7en with a group of friends, or Schindler's List in history class.

My parents didn't want me watching R-rated movies because they thought it would corrupt me and teach me all sorts of things I didn't need to know yet. What they didn't understand was the full value of a public school education. While I knew all of the most basic vocabulary of boyhood before starting kindergarten—things like "tits" and the F-bomb, S-bomb, and N-bomb—what I didn't already know I learned in the first couple weeks. By that point I knew everything from "pussy" to "buttfucker," and a rudimentary understanding of important human processes. Certain key bits of vocabularly didn't appear until the first few weeks of middle school, such as "masturbate," a process that we had to describe in more words before then, but for the most part, everything I needed to know about dirty words and sex I learned in kindergarten. I should make a poster.

Currently listening: Scissor Sisters—Tits on the Radio

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