Monday, May 7, 2007

Blacking out in the company of strangers

I had a suite of exciting medical tests done today. First off in the morning I had a physical, or rather half of one; my doctor likes to split them across two separate days. I'm already pretty hungry at this point after having fasted for about fourteen hours. Then I headed off to Bellevue for a bunch of lab tests—six vials of blood and a urine sample, to be exact. It took them six different spots on my arms and hands, several pokes in each spot, to get my vein, so I'm still a bit sore. But that's not the amusing part... once they actually started drawing blood, I was so weak after having fasted for about eighteen hours that I quickly passed out. I saw a sparkling checkerboard pattern, slurred "oh, I'm feelin' that," and then I blinked. When I opened my eyes, there was a beeping alarm noise, and two people were holding my arms. It didn't feel like any time had passed, but it had been a couple minutes since I blacked out and started to fall from the chair.

Once I had regained some strength they finished extracting the blood samples, and then they kept me there for about half an hour. They assured me it was not too uncommon for people who had been fasting for that long; I just should have had a hearty midnight snack and had the samples taken first thing in the morning. After that I no longer felt like I was in danger of fainting again, so they released me and I went straight to the Subway down the street and ate as if I hadn't had a thing in two-thirds of a day.

Next on my list was a chest x-ray, and there was a bit of a wait for that one. When I finally got in for my turn, they gave me a gown to put on (my shirt had buttons, which are a no-no for chest x-rays), and my arms were too weak to tie the gown behind me. It was pretty pathetic, actually.

Here it is almost 10:00, and I'm still feeling a bit weak from fasting and losing all that blood. Today is a day I am not eager to repeat. It's also the first hot, sunny day of the year, a stern reminder that I need to call around and sign up for air conditioning estimates.

Currently listening: Air—Talisman


G√ľnter said...

I can only hope that I say something as awesome as "Oh, I'm feelin' that" when I pass out.

Travis said...

Actually, come to think of it, I think I said that before the sparkly checkerboard. Nevertheless, that is indeed what I said. It seemed appropriate at the time. Also, by that point my brain was probably half off, so it was the best that I could come up with before it was too late.

Unknown said...

That's what she said.

That is all.