Sunday, December 25, 2005

And a Christmas far from serene

I'm extremely glad that I watched Serenity yesterday and today after Christmas lunch wasn't my first time seeing it. I think I would have had to have left the room just so I could see it under more hospitable conditions later. Two hours of solid infant crying and sporadic older children screaming very effectively prevented any enjoyment I could have gotten out of it.

I hate kids.

After Serenity, I got my life's amount of D&D out of the way. Not doing that again. Basically, it alternated between very awkward and quite boring. I was impressed at the amount of preparation that the DM put into the campaign; it was something that he had developed entirely himself, but just wasn't really my cup o' tea.


Luke said...

That's it! As a 5 year D&D veteran, I have to urge you to try more. It will only grow on you. Join us Travis...

Luke said...

5 reasons to play D&D (I haven't played in a year, but still)

1) Finally getting to put to rest the question: what are elves' personal lives all about?

2) Speculating about other peoples Wisdom/Intelligence scores

3) Compensating for any deficiences by huge and ridiculous weapons

4) Battling Satan's forces or joining them, depending on your preference. Match that, Benedict XVI.

5) Act out different characters, hone your acting skills. Its like acting school, but better.

Travis said...

Not appealing.

Derrick Stolee said...

Both have you have convinced me once and for all to never try D&D.

Andy Misle said...

I got my twelve-sided die and I'm ready to roll, with a wizard and my goblin crew,
My friends are comin' over to my mom's basement, bringin' Funyuns and the Mountain Dew.
I got a big broad sword made out of cardboard, and that stereo's a-pumpin Zeppelin (dazed and confused!),
It's that time of the night, we turn on the black light, let the Dungeons and the Dragons begin...

It's D & D!
Fighting with the legends of yore.
It's D & D!
Never kissed lady before (nope). I said it!

(Bring the thunder!)

Now the Lord of the Rings, the dark crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool.
And when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes, we're the coolest kids in the school...

No we're not...
(I know...)

Now [Mark] Teich's a real bastard, but a fair dungeon master, he's got hit points and charisma to lend.
And I rehearse in my room, or what I call the dragon's tomb, when I'm not a-with my girlfriend,

Its D & D - wait...

You've got a fuckin' girlfriend?
Dungeon master?

(That's kind of a dick thing to say...)

Its D & D!
Summonin' the demons of hell.
Its D & D!
When their shift ends at the Taco Bell.
(Gordita! Chalupa!)

Well, my medieval brother, there's room here for another. Would you care to take a roll of the die?
You guys make me weak. You think that you could keep up with a warrior as mighty as I?
See, you're in mortal danger. I'm a first-class ranger, who's half gargoyle and half elf.
And if that doesn't scare 'ya, maybe I should beware 'ya, what lurks within my gaming shell.
Next to my junior high annual, lies my monster manual, and my customized dungeon master screen.
I've got treasures and traps on my graph paper maps, next to my 3" solid pewter figurines.
So if you think you've got the balls, bring on your dungeon master calls; I'll be protected by my road of destruction.
And I will leave you both in tears, because I'm the dungeon master here, and you, too, are in need of some instruction.

Its D & D!
Warriors that terrify.
Its D & D!
Virgins til the day we...

(Oh! No!)

1, 2, fuck you!


[Stephen Lynch, "D & D" from "The Craig Machine"]