I have this weird problem where I peripherally notice when people are looking in my direction much better than I notice anything else in my peripheral vision. Whenever I detect that someone's looking in my direction, I compulsively turn and look at them. Thus, I fear that it may always seem to the other person that I'm staring at them. This happens every time I'm in a situation where there are several other people sitting nearby, such as in a cafeteria or large meeting. It's awkward, because it seems that once this happens once, the other person will often check back periodically to see if I'm still staring at them, and I inevitably noticed that they looked toward me, and am indeed now staring at them. I don't seem to be able to make myself not do this.
7 comments:
I feel that I must reiterate my previous statement about you suffering from mild AS ... they most likely aren't looking at you initially as often as you think.
Well, depending on what you mean by that... if you really do mean "often," then, no, people AREN'T looking at me very "often." But, if by that you mean that I think that they're initially looking at me when they really aren't looking at me, then you're wrong. Otherwise, at the very least, I would have to have sensed that they were going to look at me, and that's why I started looking at them. That seems a lot less likely than me being able to detect when someone's looking at me. I may be awkward, but I'm not hallucinating when I notice people looking in my direction. (In my post I said "looking in my direction"; certainly the other person isn't always looking at me, but when they're two tables down, you can't really tell if they're looking at you or the person next to you.)
As little inclination as I have to discuss this in detail on your blog I should at least encourage you to go back and reread your posted comment.
"... I would have to have sensed that they were going to look at me, and that's why I started looking at them."
I know you to be a rational intelligent individual, so ask yourself why the only options you can come up with to explain your initial behavior are: 1) people seem to have a overly keen interest in looking at you or 2) you possess a sixth sense and know they are about to look at you. I'm not saying that 1 or 2 aren't the case, they both certainly could be. I simply challenge you to consider: 3) your level of social discomfort (very obvious from this blog) causes you to feel very out of place in public resulting in your feeling as if people are watching you or generally looking in your direction when in fact they are not. You're an intelligent guy, that option doesn't equate hallucination, it could be a function of your perception of how others regard you and how you regard yourself. Don’t post a long retort, I very well could be completely wrong. Just think about it ...
I understood what you said. I've been trying to say that I don't think that people have any interest in looking at me. When there are a lot of people around, and many of them are simultaneously looking in random directions, there's a pretty damned good chance that one of them is looking in my general direction. The "hallucinating" comment was because I can see them looking at me. It seem for option (3) to be true, they would have had to have sensed me and then looked at me in response to me hallucinating that they were looking at me.
And I'm not uncomfortable and paranoid and I don't generally feel "out of place" in public. That's a whole different disorder. I'm not comfortable starting a conversation with someone I don't know, and I have trouble fully understanding social situations that other people grasp easily (and usually have a lot more experience with), but that's very different.
I'm really curious who you are, Anonymous. You seem wackily antagonistic toward Spomer, and I don't quite follow that. I'm not sure I know anyone who feels that way and yet would still read and post on his blog. Do you know him from college? are you are random blog reader with no connection? a disgruntled coworker? Plz tell. Thx.
I'm not trying to be antagonistic towards Spomer, really. I've only posted a few times, this being the 4th, and it's always concerning the same topic. I read this blog because I find it absolutely fascinating. I think of it as some kind of real life mind melding of Ziggy and Dilbert. It is rare to encounter a blog in which the author is so honest about the way he view things, and I find myself very interested in the way Spomer views other people and his interactions with them. I genuinely mean no harm or insult to him. I just believe that he can be far more comfortable in many social situations and with his daily interactions with other people, if he takes specific steps. Although, if he is content the way he is then far be it for me to tell him otherwise. Oh yes, and I know him from school, having been in a couple of classes with him.
And I don't mind... always open to criticism. I'm only somewhat annoyed that you remain anonymous. I mean, it's something I'd potentially do (see post "creepy birthday fun").
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