Sunday, December 26, 2004

La la la

Since it's Christmas, and also because there haven't been enough random stories on here recently, I'm going to tell you a story from middle school, something that I normally wouldn't tell anyone... my Christmas gift to you. I've never told anyone this before, and it stands out as one of the embarrassing things about my past that I can't forget for some reason or another.

In middle school, my best friend was Günter. I can probably attribute quite a bit of my weirdness to him. He was a strange kind of popular; the unpopular kids loved him, and all of the popular kids couldn't stand to be around him. Anyway, that's irrelevant. I believe that it was seventh grade English, and we were sitting in the back in a corner far from everyone else. We had been given a whole-period assignment to finish, and as always, we finished in a couple minutes, so we were just talking and doodling and wasting time. Several of the 7th graders were upset that the school dance was just for upperclassmen—neither of us actually expected to have been able to acquire dates anyway, so we didn't really care, but it was still the hot topic of conversation. There were two exceptionally attractive girls in our class, and each of us thought that a different one was far hotter than the other... I somehow even remember their names. This is my best recollection of the conversation:

Günter: So you'd seriously take Molly?
Me: Oh yeah.
Günter: How can you think she's hotter? Andrea's even blonde.
Me: I don't understand you. Molly is way hotter. [Note the keen lack of debate skills.]
Günter: What if she humped you? [Another hot conversation topic.]
Me: Nope, still Molly.
Günter: [singing] Andrea's hot, Molly's not!
Me: [singing] Molly, Molly, la-la-la.
Ted: Dude, Andrea's hotter.

We quickly looked over and discovered that in the desk next to us, someone was sitting next to us and had heard our entire conversation. (In elementary school, Ted had been one of my best friends; in middle school, we drifted apart, as he was one of the "bad" kids, never doing his work, yelling at teachers, skipping classes to go smoke, etc.) Anyway, at that moment I was more embarrassed than I think I ever have been. I'm not sure why.

But that reminds me of another story, one that should have been more embarrassing. Our assignment one day in Drama class was to bring a tape or CD that we could sing along to, and then lip-synch as we "performed" the song on stage. (Yeah, that should be embarrassing enough.) I didn't know a lot of songs, and I only had a couple tapes, one of which was the Aladdin soundtrack. When I told the teacher that I had picked "A Whole New World" the period before, she told me to pick one of the parts, since it was a duet and I didn't have two voices. I only knew the lyrics to the female part, so that's the one I chose. Anyway, the day of our "performances," she decided to videotape us. I got up on stage, she started playing the song, and I proceeded to lip-sync to it. (I even had the clever idea of setting up a stage out of boxes forming stairs that I could slowly descend once my part started.) After class, she pulled me aside and told me that I didn't do the whole assignment, so I couldn't get whole credit. I didn't move my lips at all. Perhaps she just couldn't see; I knew I was syncing along, because I even practiced the lyrics. But, she showed me the video, and sure enough, I didn't move my lips once during the whole song.

That should have been way more embarrassing. But, for some reason, the "Molly, Molly, la-la-la" incident has stuck with me.

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