Last night, not long before I finally fell asleep, I had a strange image flash into my head. It was sort of like how, in movies, they show a person having some kind of traumatic flashback, or receiving some sort of alien mind control signal—there was a flash of light, and then an image that seemed completely real, as if I were someone else for a second. Then, when it was over, I was back to my bed.
Now, with that kind of setup, you know it's got to be good. I bet you're just dying to know what happened. (If not, let's pretend for a second.) So, here's how it went down.
I was lying in bed, trying very hard to clean my mind of thoughts so I could sleep. (I generally have a very hard time getting to sleep on any given night.) As I was doing this, I farted. Not just any fart, but a Mt. St. Helens fart. It was precisely at that moment that I experienced the image flash before my eyes. The image was of a carving on a totem pole gasping in horror at my eruption. For a few seconds I was very confused, until the absurdity of what had just happened set in. I really wanted to laugh, but for some reason I couldn't. And that was the last thing I remember before waking up this morning.