Friday, October 22, 2004

Irritating urination habits

So, there's this Indian guy who, I believe, works on Microsoft Project. I've been in the bathroom at the same time as him twice this week now. He has what might be the most annoying bathroom habit ever. He stands in front of the urinal, standing at about the maximum acceptable distance from the urinal, and arches his body so that every part of his body is as far away as possible, as if his penis spewed painful radiation, and he had to make sure that the rest of his body was safe. He stands with his right hand on his hip, and his left hand on the flush handle. He then proceeds to flush the urinal constantly until he is done. There isn't a second of slience... it's just WHOOOOSH-slush-WHOOOOOSH-slush-WHOOOOOSH-slush. If I weren't certain that this was real life, I would have assumed it was a Monty Python sketch or something. The first time that I... experienced... this guy, he was starting his mission just as I approached the urinal. Here are the emotions I went through, numbered by flush:
  1. Confusion
  2. Annoyance
  3. Perplexed entertainment
  4. Anger
  5. Outright fury

By this time, I had finished, and washed my hands and left quickly. He was still going at it when I left.

Oh, and he smells, too.

1 comment:

Derrick Stolee said...

smelly people stink.

there's a guy at work who doesn't dry his hands after he washes them. he walks out of the bathroom with water dripping off of them and goes straight to his computer. I haven't seen whether he wipes them on his pant leg right before sitting down, but i have seen him walking through the halls with wet hands.