Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The clock, not other things

After a workout I almost always do stretches in the hot tubs for 5-10 minutes, which seems to really help reduce soreness and muscle tightness the next morning.  There's a wall clock in the same room that I use to time my stretches.  And right in front of the clock there's these lounge chairs that weird people like to nap in after a workout, and people constantly pass by those lounge chairs on the way to and from the sauna and steam room.  Half of these people are old naked white dudes.

I've been waiting—waiting, for years—for someone to misinterpret my intense staring at the time as creepily staring at them, get angry about it, and yell something like "what's your problem, asshole?!" at me.  Then I will calmly respond that I am "watching the clock, not the cock," which would be worth at least fifty badass points.

But in half a decade it hasn't happened yet.  And realistically in that situation I would probably respond with a startled "wuh nnghhwhnngh? oh," which the angry guy wouldn't even be able to hear over the sound of the water jets and showers.

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