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Monday, May 14
Cancer is bad
Having not had a physical since sometime around middle school, I had one today. (Technically, half last Monday before my suite of lab tests, and the other half today.) Everything turned out fine. The doctor pointed out that my legs aren't as flexible as they should be, but the problem that I had is one I've had all my life—when on my back, my legs can't quite go 90 degrees upward without bending. My brother can't do it either; maybe I can blame it on genes. At least I can grab the balls of my feet.
Speaking of grabbing my balls, I had the sublime joy of my first testicular cancer and prostate exams today, now that I'm an old man and we must worry about such things. I was just waiting all day for someone to complain about something, even something trivial, and somehow this was the one day in which it didn't happen. I was gonna be all like "yeah, well at least you didn't have an old man's finger in your ass!" but I never got the chance.
Thought I'd share. I was really pleased with that balls segue back there; I just thought that one up on the spot.
Currently listening: Garbage—Boys Wanna Fight
Speaking of grabbing my balls, I had the sublime joy of my first testicular cancer and prostate exams today, now that I'm an old man and we must worry about such things. I was just waiting all day for someone to complain about something, even something trivial, and somehow this was the one day in which it didn't happen. I was gonna be all like "yeah, well at least you didn't have an old man's finger in your ass!" but I never got the chance.
Thought I'd share. I was really pleased with that balls segue back there; I just thought that one up on the spot.
Currently listening: Garbage—Boys Wanna Fight
Labels: travis
6 comments:
Larry said:
Only your first testicular cancer exam -- and you're what, 25? You should have been having those for years now, as that tends to be a younger man's disease (peak from 15-35). That said, it's definitely good news if they didn't find anything wrong.
Oh, and I got a good laugh out of your segue too :)
Oh, and I got a good laugh out of your segue too :)
Travis said:
Well, first exam performed by a doctor. I try to be vigilant and check for cancer a couple times a day.
Andy said:
Love the linkage... and the segway... er, segue.
Whenever I think of a testicular exam, I can't shake the memory of the video we had to watch in 7th or 8th grade health. I guess you didn't go to East for junior high, but maybe you had to watch the same one? It was one of those times the boys and girls separated. Our video consisted of a guy getting out of the shower and then, all of a sudden, he just started... checking himself. Nothing was censored. I was NOT prepared for that.
Whenever I think of a testicular exam, I can't shake the memory of the video we had to watch in 7th or 8th grade health. I guess you didn't go to East for junior high, but maybe you had to watch the same one? It was one of those times the boys and girls separated. Our video consisted of a guy getting out of the shower and then, all of a sudden, he just started... checking himself. Nothing was censored. I was NOT prepared for that.
Travis said:
I don't think we ever had any videos in sex ed at all, Mr. I Went to Hefner Junior High.
Matthew Johnson said:
I hate to think what the doctor would say about my flexibility. I can only get my legs to 60 degrees or so (and certainly can't touch my feet without bending my knees).
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