As we were entering the parking garage elevator at work tonight after returning from Applebee's, one of my coworkers exclaimed "oh, shit!" and darted out of the elevator. We held it for him as he bent down to pick up a black object from the floor. I assumed it was his cell phone. But, upon closer inspection, it was a crank that's used to adjust the height of our desks. Everyone has the same kind of desk, and only a few people have the crank that is necessary to adjust their height. I remember asking around for one when I started, and couldn't find anyone who had one. They're hoarded like they're made of gold.
"I already have one of these, but they're like made of gold. They're like cigarettes in prison. You have one of these, right?" he asked the other guy we ate with. He said that he did, and turned to me, saying: "Don't ever lose this. You may not know how incredibly rare and valuable these things are. If this was a video game, I would be some old and ancient wizard, giving the new guy some really powerful sword that he needs to kill the end boss. This is that sword." And with that, he handed it to me. I'm not making that up; that's basically exactly what he said.
It must have fallen off a desk as it was being recently moved... a few new offices opened up on my floor, so it probably came from one of those desks. Whatever the source, I am now one of the elites of my building. One of the Chosen Few who have the power to adjust desk heights. I will be revered by my peers. Nay, they are no longer my peers, for I have a Crank.