Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Resolution

I would like to extend my personal kudos to the Resolve carpet cleaner product. And what are kudos without a story involving bodily fluids?

Yesterday in the early afternoon, I got up from the computer and noticed dark red blotches all over the floor. Then I noticed that my toe was bleeding... quite a bit. It had happened earlier when I stubbed it, but it wasn't bleeding at the time. Crap, I thought, that's never coming out. So, I went to the kitchen to get the Resolve carpet cleaner, which I had never used before then, and a brush. But, somewhere along the way I kind of forgot about the carpet, and probably ended up getting a Diet Coke instead. So, at about midnight, I got up only to see that there were still dark red blotches all over the floor, and my toe was still covered in blood. Double crap! But, to my amazement, the blood stains that had been sitting there for at least ten hours all came right out after a couple sprays and a couple minutes of waiting.

If you ever murder a prostitute and forgot to put down trash bags or a plastic tarp, be sure to get a bottle of Resolve!

6 comments:

Luke said...

I think I'm kind of worried about this abset-mindedness of yours -- forgetting the Resolve and getting a Coke instead? :)

Henry Schimke said...

I think it's all explainable with the understanding that when he says "Diet Coke" these days he means "Coke with a tiny dash of Meth in it"... he's just cooking his brain.

Travis said...

Oh, come on, you can't tell me that that doesn't happen to you. It's definitely hereditary, at the very least... my mom's been doing that kind of thing all my life. I can't count the number of times I've seen her go into a room, stand there for a good twenty seconds, and then proclaim that she doesn't know why she's there, or return with an item that she didn't intend to pick up.

Anonymous said...

hahaha. I LOVE the fact that you forgot that your toe was bleeding and you got a diet coke instead. That's weirder than most "I can't remember why I'm here" moments.

LauraJean said...

At least you didn't try to use the Diet Coke as if it were Resolve.

Andy Misle said...

If and when the Resolve doesn't work for you (and Resolve has never worked that well for me), try Bissell OxyKic - plus it smells a lot better than Resolve. I've yet to find a stain that OxyKic won't get rid of.