Monday, February 27, 2006

Email can be fun

An email I received through the EclipseCrossword support page from someone who, assuming he used his real name, is approximately 14 years old and is pretty good at tennis:


From: Cxxxxx Sxxxxx <xxxxx@cs.com>
Subject: FDA violation

Hello,
My name is Cxxxxx Sxxxxx and I have encountered a violation with your site.
According to United States code of international online services, you have not met the requirements needed to manage this website. I have noted that even though you do have the correct creating formats to run this site, you do not have the "Search by Creater" answer key which is a mandatory requirement. If failure to respond within 48 hours occures, this website will be shut down. Respond A.S.A.P.
Thank you for your time.


From: Travis - greeneclipse support
Subject: RE: FDA violation

Dear Agent Sxxxxx,

Thank you very much for the advance warning. I have forwarded your concerns to our team of well-paid lawyers who regularly deal with these sorts of issues. As soon as they have resolved the issue, I will ensure that they promptly respond to you via your government CompuServe email account.

In the meantime, don’t put off that paper too long; you don’t want to have to cram all night right before it’s due!

Thanks for writing,
—Travis
Green Eclipse.com
Personal support

4 comments:

Henry Schimke said...

hahahaha, I love it.

You do realize that he isn't fucking around, CompuServ is the fucking domination station where the gov'ment runs the underground ninja-refineries.

Brian said...

I can't decide which is my favorite part of that email: the horrendous spelling, or the fact that he claims he's from the _FDA_. Seriously, who with an IQ over 12 thinks that the FDA gives a rat's ass about software websites.

clay said...

oh, come on. the FDA is intimately involved in things like the regulation of online content. they took over for the SEC, who shifted their international online service team over to making sure that ever scissors company makes the appropriate percentage of left-handed versions.

Travis said...

Crap, I really wouldn't want to run afoul of the scissor gestapo.